Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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