I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
