this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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