I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
