I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
