What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
