$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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