Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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