I met the friendliest cop last night
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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