At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize