this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
