Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
