I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
