i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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