Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
