who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
