remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
