life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize