he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize