You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize