clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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