Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize