Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
