and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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