I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize