And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
