He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
