I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
