I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
