I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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