he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
