smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You can't motorboat a personality
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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