Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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