Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize