Ambien. No doubt about it.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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