The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
