Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
