I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
