I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
where am i from again
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
