We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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