I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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