There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
