something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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