You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize