You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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