i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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