i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
