The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
