obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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