My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
