You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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