let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
