dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she peed on how many people?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
