whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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