I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
NoShamevember. You game?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
