yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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