should my penis look like a turkey
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
