Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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