Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
