Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
