Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i permit you to call me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
