just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I want to fling myself into the sun
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
