he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
