Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
