We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
