Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
