Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
