Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
