ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize