no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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