the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
